5 weeks out.
Well I'm back to work. I went back after 3 wks post PBM, slowly. If you haven't caught it before, I am a hair stylist. This is SO difficult, much more difficult than I expected. I know that must sound crazy being that I use my arms primarily to do my job. I've just gone slowly, very slow for me, as I knew that I didn't want any set backs. It was was harder too because my right arm has less range of motion than my left and I'm right handed :-/. That problem is getting better though :). My clients have been wonderful and very patient :).
My husband stayed off with me the entire time..THANK THE LORD! Even though I went to work a few times while he was off, I was so spent that there was NO way I could work and come home and do the kids. Yesterday was my first day without him and I had such bad anxiety I just though I would go mad! I was so happy when 10 pm rolled around, I crawled into bed and forced myself to go to sleep. I had a little aid :). My mom took my little one to preschool for me and my mother in law took the big one. That was a huge help because the thought of getting up first day w/out Jason and getting the 3 of our of the house by 8 am when I hadn't done that yet was daunting! Getting my daughter in and out her car seat hasn't been fun either. I'm pretty sure that she was only in it minimally secure yesterday :-/. I tell myself, all this use of my peck muscles and while sore, working out the kinks, has to be therapeutic? Oh well, that's what I tell myself. I still have to do the the old roll your legs off the bed and slide out of bed. Learned that during the c-section :).
I'm mentally feeling more like myself now. I think if gone to the "acceptance" phase of this...maybe. I want this to be true. You know, when you feel bad, you can't feel normal, so now that I hurt less my brain is settling down some!
I'm experiencing the effects of the Expanders not being full. Now that swelling has reduced significantly, when I try to stretch, my muscle and skin press my expander in like a deflated ball! It's creepy really creepy :-/. I go the 21st to get some saline, I'm ready for that! The left one feels soft and squishy, not like a "boob" because...it isn't...it feels squishy like a pool toy lol. The right one, well, I'm not really sure what's going on with this one but they are definitely not on the same page. This one's harder and still feels bruised :(. My areolas are trying to heal up too and there will be scaring. I knew this going in so I don't have issues with this. I'm just ready for them to heal! I'm doing iodine at night to dry some spots up. I've also progressed to large band-aids! No more gauze and tape :)
We leave for vacation in 6 weeks and I'm ready for that! Since I have been delayed in expansions due to healing issues, I won't be going to the beach looking so "augmented" as I thought! I'm grateful for this. Prior to the surgery I discussed my vacay with my PS and predicted that I would be close to my finishing up with expansions and caused that I would look very "augmented". When asked what he meant by that, he said that it would look like a bad boob job...very fake. I was definitely not excited about this, so now it's not an issue! It also means that I will probably not be ready for the Exchange surgery till more like July or Aug, I'm glad about this!
I can't believe I'm 5 weeks out! Parts of this I have such vague memories of and parts I remember VIVIDLY! I'm doing better and that's what's important :)
