In the car on the way to Dallas to see Dr Meade. Can help but feel like I'm preparing for battle as I am unhappy about MANY things. I want better understanding of my situation which is such a weird thing to say right? I'm ran here I am almost 6 months from my first surgery and there still things I need more clarification on! I'm an over thinker so naturally I won't be happy till I twist my mind up in thoughts over this.
I was so nervous about my Exchange surgery and I had such HIGH hopes (not thinking that was unreasonable) and I'm so disappointed. At what specifically I'm not even sure. Again, sounds crazy I know. I think I'm walking a fine line, once again, of being realistic (I guess??) and picky/perfection. Ah ha...there it is! Perfection! I've never really had a good body image and I was comfortable with that but here was this "situation" I found myself in. I was going to have a DOUBLE MASTECTOMY. Here's my chance to ditch these large, saggy, almost vacant boobs for a COMPLETELY new pair! Bittersweet!
Hopefully when I get there the doc and I will be able to go over my list of concerns and come up with a plan to solve some if not all the issues.
Pray for me, Jason AND Dr Meade. If you don't do that, then wish us ALL luck ;)
The unknown is the toughest part. It was for me, anyways. Just know that when I woke up post-op I was just so happy it was all over. I was healthy and nothing else mattered! You got this girl!
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