Exchange Surgery

Well I had my exchange surgery this past Monday. I had the Expanders taken out and the Implants were put in their place. My right side had a few complications from the beginning so Dr Meade had to correct some of that and remove more skin and cut out scar tissue therefore my incision is MUCH larger/longer than the original. What's the big deal right?! I'm already scarred out the wazoo so what's a little more. Seriously though, as long as Jason doesn't mind a few dents on this can, that's all that should matter. Dr Meade also Fat Grafted from the sides (upper next to boobs beneath arms...where I like to think that my old boobs moved to after I finished breast feeding because I had a WHOLE lot more over there than in the front just sayin) and on the backside of the love handle/hip areas. Holy shit is it sore. I know that the end result of these lipo'd areas will look great but right now it's...wow! I woke up with a compression garment on much like the one I had after my Tummy Tuck. Did I mention that before? I had a TT last Aug. So by the end of this Dec (following my next surgery) I will have had 4 biggies in a year :) Go big or go home right?
I'm very sore much like the previous surgeries. I'm a little concerned about the shape of my NEW new boobs. They aren't like the originals (which I figured), they're not like the Expanders (which I figured) I guess they're somewhere in the middle. That probably sounds great right? Well I'm struggling a little with where I'm at now. I am in a surgical bra that is to provide support and I guess shape? I can't remove (unless showering) for 2 weeks. They look ok but honestly I got use to the "round" fake boob look and right now, I really don't have that so a revision may be in my future :-/. I have "Textured Silicone" implants. They, like the Expanders, are placed between the muscle. The "textured" part is to doubly ensure non-slippage. Great right?! I know that I walk a RAZOR thin line of being grateful/satisfied and picky. Well I guess I'm being a little picky right now and honestly I don't give a shit. For right now, I'm going to be picky. I'm 35 years old and hopefully have a lot of life to live and forgive me if I want my boobs to look like I WANT them to. I mean if I have to find myself in this situation and have to get fake boobs, then they better look BAD ASS! Jason says that I'm being impatient and that it's too soon to judge and insist that I am wise enough to know these things...huh..that's what he thinks ;) My doctor told me the same thing after I emailed him 30 min after I got home from surgery at 8:30 at night!! I know that he'll be glad to be rid of me lol! That's ok. I'm a case of his and when my case is over, I'll be a memory. So if in the mean time, I am a slight pain in the ass then oh well.
What's up next, well my next surgery will be Dec 17 and I will have nipple reconstruction and a COMPLETE hysterectomy. So it will be menopause for me this Christmas. Oh the joy. Oh well, why not right. If I'm not happy with how these boobies take shape, then these bastards are coming out too and I'll replace them with some magazine quality ones. :)

On another note, once again I am BLOWN AWAY with how wonderful people have been to Jason and I. The concern momentum hasn't slowed from the first surgery even though this was a little less traumatic than the first. Some have even come up out of no where and have been the biggest supporters with texting me ALL day and listening to my irrational thoughts etc. My neighbor, that I only slightly know, was at the store and called to see if we needed anything while she was there. A LONG time friend and parent of a kid my son's friends with was out and wanted to know if I wanted a snack/drink. People have taken my son to games at his school and brought him home for us. My husband's fire lieutenant's wife, while recovering from a fucking HEART TRANSPLANT that isn't even 2 wks old messaged me to see how I am? Heart/Boobs, Heart/Boobs um I'm PRETTY SURE that I'm doing much better than you Andi but I LOVE that you are worried. My girls at work bought me a crazy expensive eyeshadow palette (that I have yet to buy for myself because it's RIDICULOUS to spend $50 on shadow???) just because they know how tight I am and they wanted me to feel "girly" :) They have also washed and styled my hair for me. Oh the perks of being a hairdresser!! They gave me the most AMAZING card. We have a REALLY good group of ridiculously different personalities right now that for some reason work together. The grandmas once again are big helps even thought they BOTH have A LOT of serious personal shit going on with them. My mom has now been diagnosed with a huge stomach ulcer that she was unaware of. How you wonder, well because she has a wealth of other things wrong with her. She's a year out from Carcinoid Cancer where they removed 10"of colon, 3'of small intestine, appendix, terminal elium and 25-30 lymph nodes. She's been ill off and on with the horrible side effects of that surgery all year. My "MIL" (mother-n-law) is dealing with the sad and TERRIBLE decline of our Mom-o. This is her mother, my husband's grandmother, kid's great-grandmother, my daughter's name sake and a WONDERFUL woman. I didn't grow up with or experience a "grandmother". She has always been good to me and treated me like I was family, not an "in-law". In my book that's everything. So the grandmas involvement with my ordeal is wonderful considering all that's on their plate at this time.
"It's times like these, that you see who your real friends and family are" we've all heard or used that statement before right? Well it's true and it's AMAZING who fills those roles. It's SURPRISING to see who fills those roles. It's not that ppl need an "act" of kindness or help sometimes just a text (because that's the world we live in) suffices. That's ok. Everyone knows what they are and aren't involved in and are comfortable there. It's a little harder to digest when it's family but that's ok, family members are people and ppl are flawed. We usually take for granted that family "knows" that we're here for each other, that's a misconception but it is what it is. I'm not perfect and I am so unbelievably busy (when I'm not recovering from surgeries) but we do what we can to check in with ppl. Anyway I'll move on from this. This soap box is a comfy one and I could stand and stand and stand.

I'll sum this up. Thank you to everyone. Jason and I are lucky and grateful to have each of you.

I'm ready to feel better and to move past all of this surgery shit. I am a patch work quilt, cut and sliced. Some new pieces, some things in new places and some things discarded. A pleasant description of myself right? I've also used the "I feel like a round bunt cake" analogy. You know, those round pans that have the grooves in them? It's a fantastic way to fool ppl into thinking "hey I brought a round cake, I made it and it's iced like a champ"! Well I'm that cake and what everyone doesn't know is part of my awesome round cake got dented taking it out of the pan that was supposed to be easy to come out of. So what did we do...we just packed it back together and slapped some icing on it. No one will ever know the difference right? I do and so does Jason. He says that it doesn't bother him and that I'm beautiful..and blah and blah and blah...my husband got a raw deal 14 years ago when he said "I do". No man would EVER sign up for all that we've been through knowingly. Little did he know, I included it in the fine print, you gotta check those things :)