You're Going to Cut Them Off?!?!

We decided that after talking to the Genetic Counselor and since we were making plans to move forward with other dr and the surgery, that it was time to tell our son. He's 12 and fairly mature. We didn't want to worry about him over hearing us or slipping up and then having to worry about covering it so we decide that telling him NOW was best. We've always set the example of "it may be difficult to be honest, we may not like what we hear and someone may be upset but lying to each other was not an option!" We do this because we want him to know that we'll always shoot it straight him and that we expect the same. Having said all of that, we asked him to come in to the living room because we needed to talk to him. Naturally he was like "what did I do or what did I fail in school...?". We told him that it wasn't anything like that AND it had better stay that way haha! I asked him if he remembered that I was having a test done that had to do with testing my DNA to look to see if I carried a possibility of developing BC? I didn't get into the ovarian, melanoma, and pancreatic part, he's 12 not 34. The BC part is over whelming enough for me let alone a 12 year old processing it! He answered "yes" and said "you have it don't you?" I asked what he meant specifically so that I would only answer what he asked. He was in fact just asking about test for the gene and if I have that gene. I answered him yes. He said "well now what? Will you get or are you going to have BC?". I told him no because there were 3 options for me to choose from. He asked what they were and I went into it all. I told him that I could do the "Surveillance" and get scans every 6 months with the intention of catching it early IF I every become ill with BC. I told him that I could do the "Chemo Prevention" and that it would reduce my percentages some but that I would be on the medicine for ever. I then told him the 3rd option...the elective, radical procedures of PBM and Oophorectomy and that it would reduce my chances to 1% or less. He asked "Wait!...you're gonna cut 'em off?!". I went on to tell him about the percentages, what they are if I do nothing and what they were with each option. He had this crazy glassy eyed look on his face. I could see his wheels turning and turning. It then dawned on me that THAT was ALOT of info for a kid to process! I knew that it would be that way but no one likes to be in the dark or lied to so if someone reading this doesn't agree with our method then oh well :-/. I asked "how ya doin'?" he said "Well I guess fine but which one are you going to do?" I asked with all of the info provided and reminded him of the percentages etc what SHOULD I do? He said the surgeries. I told him that was the decision dad and I had come too and that even though I was scared and that there could be complications I just felt like it was the ONLY option. While the look of confusion was STILL all over his face, he agreed with us. He sat there for a minute and asked "you don't HAVE cancer right now do you?" Even though I can understand why he asked me that, I just hate that he even HAS to ask that. We were careful to lay it all out like.. "prevention, prevention, prevention..". I told him no and once again he asked "are you sure? Do you have it and aren't telling me. I mean, you're getting the surgery and I wouldn't know the difference!". I told him "you would know because I would be bald!". He said "well you've had cancer before so it's not crazy that I think that". He's right. He's smart and analytical and randomly listens to details and he's a worrier by nature although he doesn't always show it. I assured him that AM ok and that I will ALWAYS be honest with him about my health. He said "well, when your 90 you won't have boobs hangin' to you knees!" We laughed and said "you're right?!" He went on with more sentiments like that.. I'll spare you and save myself from some embarrassment but if you can imagine it he said it lol! He's a "come back over and over" kind of person once he knows something. It's how he processes, it's how I process. He had decided that we needed a "safety hug" and maybe a "safe word" again we're "processing". This went off and on till bed time. I asked him to PLEASE not go to school tomorrow and discuss this and he said "um I will NEVER go to school and discuss YOUR body with ANY of my friends...EVER! No worries there!" haha! He's really funny, a sarcastic little jokester actually. This was ok because if he was spending an entire evening "busting" on me, then he was spending an entire evening NOT worrying, in the "doom and gloom" sense. Our 3 year old will be much easier obviously. Not too worried there. She won't even remember! That's my "whole" thing...our son was spared from knowing ANYTHING with the Leukemia. Of course he knows the stories but he doesn't have any knowledge of living it in real time! Another motivating factor for me, and one of the main reasons that I have this one opportunity to spare my kids from this horrible cancer and it's my job as their mother to do so! It's my family, my body and my choice. You don't have to agree, hell, you don't even have to understand. Everyone would do something different. Thank goodness that we're not all the same and that there are other options. I picked the one that I'm comfortable with and the one we feel is the only option for me. I'm so blessed that my husband and kids agree with me and feel the same independently :).