Let first start with..I'm a quick thinker and can not near type fast enough to keep with my thoughts so if I miss spell a word or skip a word, just bare with me as I may not have the patience to go back and proof what I write :) Ok..I have 5 half siblings. I am the youngest. There are 2 girls (T is 54, G is 52) and 3 boys (B 50, S 46, T 40) and me (34). We ALL share the same dad but I have a different mom...wheww. I was not raise with my siblings or my bio dad so I didn't get to know any of them while growing up. My dad passed away when I was a senior in HS and I never got the chance to meet him. Upon learning of his death, I decided that I had to try to meet my brothers and sisters. I proceeded to look them up in the phone book (obviously a while ago lol). I found the middle brother and we planned for everyone to go to lunch for my little meet and greet. He unfortunately wasn't able to make it, but one of the other brothers and the 2 sisters came. It was sort of awkward but nice. I was finally able to put some faces with some names! We left that lunch with no further follow up. There wasn't any particular reason for this other than we were all virtually strangers and they were all busy with young kids and their personal lives I suspected. Five years passed and I reached out again. I called the same brother (S) that I had made contact with before but this time it was to gain "family health" knowledge because this is when I had Leukemia and it dawned on my mother that she really didn't know anything about my bio dad's family health. He wasn't really that helpful, he just honestly didn't know...men. Anyways, 8 years went by and I thought, I want to know where they all are... again!! I was always frustrated that it was me searching for them and making effort and not them, but life and age gives you perspective (Thank the Lord) and I knew there was simply NO way that they knew how to find me! My last name was legally changed in my teen years to my "step" last name and now I was married. They didn't know EITHER of those names. So once again I reached out. This time I thought that I would try another sibling (I have plenty to choose from) and I sent a short letter to B (he's up north) on Christmas Eve 2009. I never heard back. I was heart broken. I didn't tell anyone for quite some time because I was embarrassed. I finally told my mom and I just cried. See, I've thought about this people for ever and was just SO curious to know them. I told myself "that's it...no more putting myself out there.." I'd spent 32 years not knowing them so that's just the way it would be from here on out. Let me stop here..if you know me then you know this is a lie...I'M RELENTLESS! Seriously, I'm a serious glutton for punishment! Of course I didn't stop haha! Now I was on facebook. Good old FB! I searched for them before I added ANY friends. But nada..nothing. Now, with 5 siblings SOMEONE'S bound to be on FB right?! I did come across who I thought might be one of the boys (T) but his profile was "private" so I couldn't see anything..damn. Oh well, I would randomly search for them for the 2 years I have been on there. My curiousity was hightened at Christmas time (remember the unanswered letter??) This year would be no different. I seldom get on to FB from the computer but this particular time I did. I thought "what the hell" and I typed in a brother's name and this time a more familar picture was up and low and behold IT WASN'T PRIVATE! Yea!!! I skipped the pics and went straight for the friend's list because if the others were on there then this was my man. Sure enough, the oldest brother (B) and on his, a sister (G) and on her's the other sister (T). I thought wait why aren't they ALL on each other's FBs? I'm I about to tap into people who don't even stay connected themselves?! And then I thought..."Who the hell cares?! I found my people!". I then went back and looked over everyone's pics like I was studying for an exam ha...remember my "curiosity"? To my defense their profiles had been on lock down in the past and I wasn't sure if I would get another chance! When I made it back around to one of the sisters, I noticed that we had and "friend" in common and just like slow motion in a movie I see the "friend" and see where T works...drum roll...she works at my daughter's dance school! Holy Moly how in the hell could this be?! So wait, I've been going to this dance school weekly (Sept-May) of last year and (Sept - current) of this year and I didn't know that my sister was there? Only in my crazy life does this shit happen! I was alone and it was midnight when I discovered all of this and I could do NOTHING with it! That was a Wed and surprisingly I kept my patience till the next Wed would come so that when we go to dance I would just drop the bomb then...why not. When I got there that day I was really nervous. What would she say, what would she do, would she be happy, freaked, conflicted, relieved, indifferent, want me to leave the studio, would SHE want to leave the studio, would it go farther than me just being a dance parent??? If you haven't figured it out....I'm a worrier. I feel that it is fairly obvious but I just thought I would throw that out there just in case :). During the time of my discovery, I remembered that sister (T) had gone through breast cancer but thought, well she must be ok because she's there everyday and has hair etc. But I worried that she might not be, so naturally I wanted to check on that too. I went to dance and while all the girls went into the room I had private time to tell T who I was and I was SO relieved that she seemed joyed. She was definitely surprised but not in any of the negative ways that I worried she would be. I proceeded to ask her, "so tell me, you had BC or you have it still? What's going on with that? Are you ok?" T answered yes and filled me in on her current status etc..then she dropped her bomb. Not only did T have BC but so did our other sister G. G had it first, discovered that she tested positive for the mutated BRCA1 gene which is hereditary. Naturally she encouraged T to be tested and when T was tested and found positive for BRCA1 she was also diagnosed BC. She didn't know. They also conclusively ruled out their mother (they all have the same mom) for having this gene. That meant that OUR dad carried this BRCA1 gene and had passed it on to them. They were 42 & 47 when they were diagnosed. They knew that I too was at as much risk as they were and knew that I had had cancer in the past (remember I called brother to get family history). They didn't know how to find me. They just hoped that I would find them again, like before, and they would be able to warn me. Well this was "that day". T told me to go get tested soon to see if I too carried this gene because I would have some decisions to make. Seriously, I just wanted to meet a sister and got a WHOLE lot more than I bargained for ha. All kidding aside, OF COURSE I was thankful to know this. I too had a 50/50 chance like them, because of our dad, but thought surely he can be 3 for 3 right?! I let a month go by but got with the program and called my CURRENT oncologist (so shouldn't have to say that). The nurse said to definitely get on it and she gave me the number to the Genetics department for Breast Cancer Heredity. They got me in quick based on my family's history and the results came 4 days sooner that expected. Dad was 3 for 3. I was positive. They had easily identified the mutation comparing my DNA with my sisters. Wow. This was serious..obviously. Have you every felt as if you had dodged and been hit by a bullet at the same time. I did.
PLEASE HEAR THIS...Eventhough this sucks, I am so blessed that God made me the RELENTLESS, NEUROTIC WORRIER that I am. Had I not been, I would've never found this out. I would've never continued to seek these brothers and sister out and I very likely would've been a victim of cancer again at a young age. So this is "How I Got Here".
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