Random

I think I'm manic (probably just excited about getting the infamous drain out tomorrow) but I can't wait till tomorrow at 8:30 am when I call and head to big D to get this biatch OUT! Wooooo!!

Another thing..I think it's setting in that THIS has happened to me. Now, now before you go thinking that I've officially lost it, I DEFINITELY know that this has "physically" happened to me. I hurt, I get tight from spasms that OMG stop me in my track, and I have less than half the boob size I had before! Mentally though...I'm not going to say "yeah I'm there" but I think I'm close. I'm super good with talking about this and educating people about HBOC (hereditary breast & ovarian cancer) but I don't always "feel it" mentally. That's a trick I picked up a long time ago. Sometimes it's good sometimes it's not, but it is what it is right?

What I know is this...2 WEEKS before Christmas 2011, I searched once again for my half brothers and sisters and found them...ALL! A week after that I formally introduced myself to my oldest half-ie, T, who I've been around for 1 and a half dance seasons (my daughter's) and see every Wednesday. After a tiny but wonderful reunion, she tells me I need to be checked for the Breast Cancer gene because she and our other sis not only have/had BC but have the gene. In Feb I get tested and within 3 days conclusively find out that I'm positive for it too! On April 2 have a Prophylatic Bilateral Mastectomy! 4 freaking months...4 months...boom.
Now, I'm a good stress multi-tasker but this is rediculous even for me. The fact of the matter is it DID happen and that's where I hit a skid in my record. I have had a drain for 21 days and consequently NO traditional shower for 21 days. I have stood in my tub and "bird bathed". My PS referred to it that way and I figured it does sound better than "spit" or "whore" baths I mean, am I right?! Those are fun, but come on lol. I've slept in my recliner for 21 days as well. As long as I had this drain, I just didn't want to risk rolling over on it and doing something that made me end up keeping it longer...shit!

Back to my "half-ies", I like them..so far i really do! I've talked quite a bit on FB with one ("B") b/c he's been laid up, sort of, too with a back injury and has been off of work. He's the oldest of the boys..50..wow. I like "T", a sis (the one I see weekly), a lot. I get to know her more and more and feel really comfortable around her. It's nice. The youngest of the brothers sent me a "hang in there and warrior on" message on FB (he's a marine) that meant a lot and mentioned that we need to make a meeting happen ASAP. I've communicated limitedly with the other sis b/c she has some stuff going on right now that's complicated BUT she sent love and support prior to my surgery. One brother I have yet to communicate with, partly because I hadn't gotten his info yet (now do) and well, I've been A LITTLE busy haha. That's next on my list. I don't know if any of them read this but if y'all do I want you to know I have no expectations from you. This is NOT in a negative sense. I'm just grateful for the connections I've made and I'm happy. I'm happy that y'all have referred to me as "sister" which to me is huge BECAUSE we didn't grow up together and people have different views on these sort of things ya know? Y'all are so much older it would be easy to say "oh yeah...hey glad to hear from ya...take care" but that's not been the case :)

I just thought I would give a little update on the sibs since I haven't (since the beginning). Life is good, family is great, strangers are generous, healing is slow but getting there and I'm blessed...lucky and blessed!

Also, I love the fact that my hubs and my son have picked up and like the term foob and foobies. It's the little things right? My daughter (3) even has her role. She checks my drain bottle every morning to see how much "bwuddd" is in there ha! This morning I'm happy to report that she said "Oooh mom, it's little! There's not very much bwud in there today :)". We're a team and there ya go, blessed!