Revelations

This one will be short. Maybe? I may be making several entries today as I think of things to unload. I intend for it to be but it may be a novel who knows! You never can tell about me :)

We went out last night and stayed out which to my surprise, I had a great time! Not because of what we did or the friends we were with (because I ALWAYS love the time we spend with them!) but because after the fun was over I knew the only left to do would be the surgery. The Tough Mudder was just that..tough and muddy. Our men were exhausted but felt totally accomplished and we ALL feel sure that we don't know many who could've done it all the way through. People were quitting right and left! People needed medical attention, broken bones and one air lift! Not to feel sorry for ourselves, but the other wife/friend "D" and I were tired too! I know, walking all around a 12 mile course trying to see our men, for 6 hrs, a fully sunny day that happened to be the first HOT day of Spring, no water, no food AND we ALL did it on purpose! I know you feel very sorry for us! While we were unsuccessful in finding our men, we went to one of the obstacles called "Everest". It was a half pipe that was very tall, muddy and oily. The event staff would periodically come and pour/squirt cooking oil at the bottom and at the top! I found watching these crazy souls sprint and throw themselves up this impossible "Everest" to be amusing :). One brave and muddy man walked up and we noticed that he was missing an arm. He had a prosthesis with a hook. He was probably in his 30s. He was physically fit and I am going to assume that he is probably a vet. He sprinted and gave it a good try to get up that pipe but was unsuccessful. Others started to be aware and decided that everyone needed to figure this situation out. About 10 men started to lay on their backs and stack themselves to form a ladder and a base. He climbed over the human ladder and got on his back and stretched his remaining natural arm up while the men up top reached down to help his up Everest. It was amazing to witness this man's determination and perseverance. He never looked defeated and frustrated and he had every reason to. He used 1 ARM, grabbed those men above, kicked his legs up, the men grabbed them and he was over and it was done! I don't think that I will ever be able to describe how humbling that was and how honored I felt to watch him. See, I'm sure that the day he lost his arm was a game changer, a life changer. He had to then make the decision that having just one arm was not going to be enough. He then had to to decide that he would have to heal, adapt and move on. He clearly has, not without struggles and weakness and most likely a sense of loss, but...he HAS moved on. I was moved to tears and I realized that I have to do what he did. I have to heal, adapt and....move on. I HAVE to do ALL of these things to get back to what makes me feel accomplished..running! It's not "Everest" but it might as be to me. Don't get me wrong I love to run and do it for many more reasons than weight loss and physical health. He showed me that it is totally doable and that it WILL happen as long as I remain determined and persevere!

Surgery is tomorrow. 3 days before my 35th birthday. It will be a great present to myself. I will eliminate one cancer that seems to be plaguing more and more women everyday. Young, old, fat, skinny, all races, rich, poor, healthy, sickly, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, daughters, wives and moms. Cancer is a mean bitch and as you can read, doesn't give a shit about whom it effects! I'm lucky...and I've been on the other end to know. Thank God that it all worked out and thank God it will this time too!

One more thing..those friends that we spent all day and night with surprised me with a gift. Not a bday gift but just simply a gift. It was a Pandora charm bracelet with one charm added. There were dozens to choose from and they felt like the charm representing "Inner Strength" was for me. They went on to pay me a great compliment..they too seem to think I'm a strong person who shows courage. I was totally surprised and honored to have them feel this way about me! While the bracelet is beautiful, their kind words and thoughts are more! We have so many awesome people in our lives :)